[COMING SOON]

Tonight my mate and I were robbed.  We left this club at 12 because the girls we were with ditched once they knew I had a gf.  I walked to the atm to withdraw cash for a taxi and then started to walk towards this hotel with a taxi rank…we were walking backstreets and I got tired so we had a sit down and soon after this mother fucking mugger walked up to us gesturing towards his gun cliche-ly tucked in the front of his tracks while repeating “hand over your pack or I’ll shoot”….so we both did.

I had my mother fucking passport in there….but more importantly the Narciso Rodriguez cologne I’ve grown to appreciate.  So somewhere out there, this dirty mother fcuker is rocking my cologne, using my cucumber and green tea roll on (I highly fucking doubt he’s using my roll-on deodorant unless he’s the sickets mother fucker out!) and applying Neutrogena 70spf sunblock!  (I bought that for the ACDC concert which was in the sun…why am I justifying my purchase of sunblock?…I WAS JUST ROBBED!)

So the coppers took our statements while we were outside the hotel then they took us back to central station were they had us confirm our earlier statements then they drove us home

I’m TIRED.